The truth is we usually find what we’re looking for, good or bad. We expect someone to be rude, not nice, stingy, or whatever; we will most likely see that we are right! Our ego and our subconscious mind want to make us right, looking for anything to support our beliefs—it’s human nature. If you’re convinced that someone is rude, not nice, not very friendly, your mind will be watching for anything negative to focus on. No one is perfect, so you will have success in proving yourself right. “Oh, that person is so rude! That person is not very nice! That person is not friendly!” and so on.
Next time you see something bad in someone else, do a check in. Be honest. What thoughts, actions, energy, were you putting out to them first? You probably behaved differently to this person than you would have if you had been thinking, “This person is so wonderful!” If you expected them to let you down, be rude to you, act in a not nice way, then it may be you got exactly what you were ‘looking’ for.
Try some self-love and compassion instead of beating yourself up, this is the first step to having any healthy, positive relationship. You need to love yourself before you can truly be your best and give your best to others.
Train yourself to look for the good in everyone. You may even be the catalyst to bring out that goodness; maybe they’re just having a bad day, or maybe they’re going through a hard time. You can be a blessing to them.
BONUS: If you train yourself to look for the good in others, you will probably find that you start to focus on the good within yourself too. Maybe, just maybe, you will become less critical and more loving to yourself as well!
As we seek our ‘truth’ by suggesting something is true, we then subconsciously set out to prove it is so; we unfairly judge others and ourselves. It is important to be aware that sometimes ‘truth’ is really only perception. Changing your thoughts can change your life. Choose to look for the good in life—it is a choice.