Is Loving Yourself Selfish?

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”
Psalm 139:14 NIV

We are all born beautiful little babies who naturally love themselves and others. Somewhere along the way we lose this self-love and become critical of ourselves and others. We learn to deny our true passions and feelings in order to fit in, to be like everyone else. We become self-conscious and try to hide who we truly are.

Watch how one teacher helps his students to love themselves and what happens when they do. A Radical New Teaching Method – Compliments and high fives go a long way in the classroom.

By starting the day with just ten minutes of complimenting his students and giving them high fives, he got amazing results: “After a few weeks of this practice, my students started complimenting one another consistently. They praise each other for accomplishments as if it was their own. They never insult one another and actively work towards helping each other.”

“Praising each other for accomplishments as if it was their own.” Learning to value themselves taught them to also value others; instead of being jealous of someone else having success, they felt good about it.

Why don’t all children get raised this way, at home and in school? Why not teach all children to love themselves, to value their uniqueness and value the uniqueness of others? Imagine how much better your life would be if you and the other people you grew up with had learned to love themselves and others.

It is insecurity and fear that drive people to put others down in order to build themselves up. When you value yourself for the beautiful unique person that you are, you do not need to put someone else down to make yourself feel good.

“Self-care is never a selfish act – it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer others. Anytime we can listen to true self and give the care it requires, we do it not only for ourselves, but for the many others whose lives we touch.”
― Parker J. Palmer

What is self-care?

“Self-care is about seeking and nurturing internal validation. It is finding the sweet child within and giving him or her soothing comfort, reassurance, and warm, loving thoughts and wishes. It is about taking care of the internal emotional side of our being and learning self-compassion.”
Karyl McBride Ph.D. Psychology Today, Is Self-Care Selfish?

Loving yourself is not selfish, it is a true expression of who you are, who you were born to be. It is you being authentic and real, recognizing how special you are and not trying to be like someone else. It also means that you see others for the wonderful unique person that they are.

Look for the good in yourself and others. Compliment often. Nurture the beautiful child within. Let’s be the example that we want our children to follow. Love yourself. Love others.

If you have self-esteem issues and fears that are keeping you from fully embracing and accepting who you are, know that it is never too late to make the changes you want in your life. You can love yourself no matter what other people say, no matter what you’ve been through, no matter your past, or your circumstances. You can take control of your life.

In my book, Love Yourself Being You: A Way to Live Your Best Life (Quiet Your Mind, Eliminate Stress, Find Inner Peace) I share ideas, tools and techniques to help you connect with the beautiful creation that you are; the wonderful, capable person that exists within you and always has. Learn to love yourself, to reduce stress and anxiety, and to overcome your daily struggles. Conquer your fears and escape the downward spiral of negative thinking and emotions.

You have the power to love yourself exactly as you are. You have the ability to have unshakable confidence. You are powerful. You are amazing!

Look inside the book here.

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